Today's full programme, more choices & comment

3:00pm
Miles Apart Together Paper Smokers

“The air is the only place that is free from prejudice”. Bessie Coleman<br/>They said she couldn’t do it but she could.
From going around the world on a bicycle to doing spectacular airshows or climbing the highest mountains on earth, Annie "Londonderry" Kopchovsky, Bessie Coleman and Junko Tabei fought the prejudice and scepticism that surrounded them.
Their achievements became milestones in the path towards women’s rights and freedom, challenging the assumption that the “fairer sex” lacks the physical and mental stamina for big deeds. Though their adventures were as breathtaking, spellbinding and phenomenal as their male counterparts, where are their stories now?
For one night only Annie, Bessie and Junko come back for the live recording of the podcast “Miles Apart Together” and share their stories.

3:00pm
The Magnificent Mind of Marcus Seemia Theatre

Meet Marcus. Argentinian. Catholic. Straight. Maybe. He doesn't know anymore, or why he wanted to be Pope when he was young. <br/>Welcome to the Wonderful World of Marcus!<br/>Delving deep into the colourful circus of Marcus’ memories, we meet his fantastical family and friends, loves and losses as he grapples with the events that have shaped him. <br/>Hear the discovery of the dreams and wishes of Marcus and those close to him... but does anyone really listen?<br/>Award-winning Seemia return to VAULT with their dark-comedy, bursting with phsyical-theatre and storytelling, clowning and music. Seemia ask what makes us become who we are, pulling apart the matrix of gender politics, religion and the impact of family relationships on forming our identity.<br/>MARCUS is generously supported by Theatre Deli, The Albany, ARC Stockton and ArcolaLAB for BAME Artists, and public funding from the National Lottery through Arts Council England. Seemia are a Tangled Feet mentored company.

3:00pm
About 500 Simona Hughes

When Clem first dates Luke, she is a 32-year-old ambitious go-getter woman, (eggcount 115), with no interest in motherhood. Four years later, and happily in love, she decides she does want a child after all. Clem and Luke then gradually find themselves in a crisis of infertility, in which Clem becomes increasingly obsessed with time, (insisting it is going too fast), and counting things (like her remaining eggcount)... . To make matters worse, Clem’s older and best friend, Ruth, accidentally conceives a second child, aggravating her despair. By the time Clem is 42 (eggcount 7) she has become mentally and emotionally absent, slipping in and out of her own ‘egg-time’ (which runs faster than everyone else’s). Luke, fearing he has lost her, suggests that it’s time to give up on ‘project baby’.<br/>About 500 combines an unfolding drama between 3 characters with an exploration of the subjective nature of time and a docu-theatre thread suggesting the real women’s voices behind the play. It also uses movement and an ‘installation’ made up of 100s of tiny meringues to convey the spent and squandered ovulations that come to haunt the protagonist. The story’s 10-year passage of time is made explicit to the audience through an ever-present visual display of Clem’s remaining egg count, a forcible reminder of her ever diminishing odds.<br/>The average age of first conception for women in the UK is now 30 and climbing steadily. However, the cliff edge of female fertility remains brutal, dropping dramatically at 35, with the result that more and more women find themselves involuntarily childless in their 40s. This has a huge, and seriously overlooked, impact on women's mental health. The fundamental disparity between a punishingly finite female fertility and a potentially infinite male fertility remains an issue that our society has failed to address, and something of a blind spot for feminism.
About 500 invites audiences to consider this raw deal that contemporary women face.

3:00pm
Windows Of Displacement Toussaint To Move

Issues surrounding migration, home, borders and identity pose some of the biggest questions of our time. Akeim Toussaint Buck addresses these and more in his new, timely, dance theatre solo show: Windows of Displacement. Through the contextual lens of imperialism, colonialism and global displacement, he weaves a story that speaks to the lived experiences and human lives that are entangled in the politics of power and oppression.
“It always sounds a bit pompous to describe a show as being ‘important’, but that’s exactly what Windows of Displacement is. The fact that it manages to deliver its message while still being accessible, thought-provoking and immensely uplifting is a tribute to its creator.”<br/>John Murphy taken from a review written for Exeunt Magazine 2018<br/>Using his own journey of migration from Jamaica to the UK as a catalyst, Akeim Toussaint Buck brings together dance, spoken word and song to tell a story that is both deeply personal and universal. Through delving into his own journey, the audience is presented with a recent history of humanity. In this way, Toussaint Buck presents the threads connecting oppression, from the Transatlantic Slave Trade, to the current mining and exploitation of the Congo, from the micro to the macro, from the past to present.

3:00pm
The Extraordinary Time-Travelling Adventures of Baron Munchausen OhSo Funny

This BBC-Featured show promises swords, duels, elephants, castles built of cheese and all of it completely and irrefutably true! Discover how the Baron invented Morris dancing, how his actions saved the Isle of Skye from sinking beneath the waves, why every fourth child in Bruges is named after him and other fantastically delightful stories. This show will delight adults and children with its wonderful joie de vivre and other pretentious words!<br/>This exciting new concept show features award-winning comedians and improvisers who are challenged by one another to invent outrageously exaggerated swashbuckling stories based on the The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. All they have is their wits, some silly hats and the suggestions of an audience full of giggling children (and their grown-ups) to ensure that all ends happily ever after!

3:00pm
Scab Metamorph Theatre

'Scab' is a one-man show set in any one of the many deprived coastal towns in the UK, which asks the question 'to what extent can one delve into the life of a stranger?' Come and join the Narrator, played by Conor Lowson (‘The Liberator’, Opus Films for Netflix and BBC’s ‘Ladhood’), as he embarks on a playful, dark and devious odyssey into the recesses of his own mind.
This kinetic piece of storytelling is directed by Jamie Biddle (‘Whitechapel: Suspects, Lunatics and a Leather Apron’; ‘Extinct’, The Bush Theatre; ‘Conk the Dyslexia Goblin’, The Bush Theatre and ‘Smoking in the Boys Room’, Theatre503) and written by Luke Stapleton (‘Mycorrhiza', The Space; 'Retinas', Southwark Playhouse, and as Script Editor; BBC's 'The Capture' and Amazon Prime's 'Hanna').
'I have this hole in me
Here
(Gut)
Here
(Heart)
And here
(Brain)
And my whole life is spent just desperately tryin’ not to fall into it.'

3:10pm
Supernova pfh productions

Supernova is a fast-paced pop-culture romp through the space and time of one relationship featuring the greatest back catalogue of Sci-Fi movies ever made. Oh, and depression.<br/>Harry and Tess are perfect for each other: they both wanted to be astronauts as kids, neither can stand rom-coms and they both squirm at the word ‘moist’. But sometimes, however much the universe is drawing you towards a person, sometimes you need to find your own orbit.<br/>From one half of multi-award winning musical comedy duo Stiff & Kitsch (Musical Comedy Award Winners 2018, Official EdFringe sell-out 2019) comes a new play about finding your place in the universe.

3:15pm
Pick-Ups (Work in Progress) Alex Lynch and Fraser Millward

Pick-ups: Mistakes. Retakes. F**k-ups. <br/>Pick-ups is a behind-the-scenes look at TVs hardest game show 'Stratagem!'
It's the series finale. They think it's all over! But changes are afoot; now the real games begin... <br/>How far would YOU go to win?<br/>A new comedy from Fraser Millward and Alex Lynch. <br/>"Hysterical entertainment" **** ThreeWeeks
"Sharp acerbic wit." The Telegraph
**** Shortcom

3:20pm
LET’S BUILD A PLANET! The Incredible Rebel All-Stars

Imagine designing your own planet. What colour would the sea be? How many legs would a donkey have? What would the farts smell like? Well now’s your chance to choose! <br/>Zoom through the weird and wonderful wormhole with Gill and Boo, a couple of crafty World Builders (and clowns) who have a ground-breaking plan to build a brand new, fully-functioning planet! <br/>Help them escape from the sinister Robo-Cops, play super silly games with the infamous four-footed gameshow host, Legs Dennis, and meet the mysterious rulers of a distant galaxy who come bearing strange plans, and even stranger sandwiches. <br/>There’s everything to play for, and every reason to play, in this interactive theatrical spectacular about making things right; nominated for the Brighton Fringe Best Family Show Award 2018.<br/>Suitable for ages 5-5000. Extra-terrestrials welcome. <br/>"Stunningly creative" Fringe Guru

3:30pm
Christopher Macarthur-Boyd (Work in Progress) Off the Kerb

Join the wee speccy future of Glaswegian stand-up as he tries out brand-new material in this work in progress show. As seen hosting BBC Scotland’s Up For It and The Comedy Underground, as well as live support for Kevin Bridges, Larry Dean, Russell Kane, Jason Manford, Abandoman, Paul Chowdry and Ellie Taylor. Best-reviewed Scottish stand-up show of the Edinburgh Fringe 2018.
'Endlessly enjoyable' **** - Skinny
'Genius writing' **** - The List
‘Intelligent, articulate, and incredibly funny' ***** - The Wee Review
'Downright impressive... no spare moment lacks a laugh' ***** - ShortCom

4:30pm
6/49 Angus Harrison

A play about luck and the stories we tell about money. <br/>Natalie. 25. Life on hold. <br/>Staring at an uncertain future, she picks over a series of moments in her life – both small and significant – trying to understand when things began to fall apart.<br/>‘6/49’ sets about defining the shapeless pressure of debt on low-income families. A new play by journalist Angus Harrison, directed by Elin Schofield.

4:30pm
Fiona Ridgewell (Work in Progress) Fiona Ridgewell

A work in progress following Fiona’s training for a white collar boxing match. A woman in 2019/20 surrounded by men, making her way to be the ultimate champion. Meet her family and characters from the local area in Kent. She’s a Disney princess turned Rocky! Is she one of the lads or using her sexuality to get further in 2 male dominated fields!

4:30pm
Plant Fetish Chanje Kunda

Take a Leaf out of Chanje Kunda's Book<br/>Performance artist Chanje Kunda was suffering with stress and anxiety when she first discovered that plants soothe the soul.
She then learnt that some women in Mexico, fed up with men, were getting married to trees. Trees aren’t very talkative, but they are tall, do great things for the planet, and are renowned for their wood. Chanje was inspired and surrendered to this notion.
She fell in love with plants: fleshy succulents, monstera’s handshaped leaves, the Venus flytrap, the twining of a creeper.
The pressures of life drifted away.<br/>This show maps her journey, and will feature a harem of stunning
tropical plants that dress the stage. There will be music and
movement, dramatic narrative and metaphors of growth and
renewal. The show ends on a climax...<br/>We are forever comparing our lives to those of others on social
media and the superficial numbers game that is dating via online
apps. Plant Fetish will inspire you to embrace foliage over FOMO!

4:30pm
Ivo Graham: Work in Progress Off The Kerb

Work in progress from a life in progress, as seen on Have I Got News For You, Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, Richard Osman’s House of Games, Roast Battle, Hypothetical, The Stand-Up Sketch Show, The Now Show and Fighting Talk.
‘Has star in the making coming off him like steam’ **** - Telegraph
'A hugely enjoyable hour of stand-up comedy' **** - Times

4:30pm
Mustard Doesn’t Go With Girls Bric à Brac Theatre

Mustard Doesn’t Go With Girls is an inclusive feminist musical for the modern
child. Join us in the surreal town of Bow-on-Tie, a town deeply rooted in
tradition and run by the dubious mayor Croque Madame (or is it Croc?!). When
the children start mysteriously disappearing, eight-year-old Abigail decides to
investigate further, embarking on an adventure where social norms are
questioned and the town’s secrets are uncovered. Will Abigail and the rebel
children be able to prevent their horrific fate, and by doing so change the town’s
divide of boys and girls?<br/>Using an original score, slick movement and strong characters this production
seeks to poke fun at fairytales from the past whilst creating new storylines for
the young generation of today. Join Abigail on her journey towards being heard
in a society that is stuck in the past. The show is empowering for both children
and grown-ups, of whatever gender, showing that you can be anyone and
anything you want to be.

4:30pm
Who Murdered My Cat? Roann McCloskey

Not from the makers of ‘Making a Murderer’. Also not from the makers of ‘Kidnapped in Plain Sight’ – A journey of self discovery where Roann leaves no (wo)man behind. Piecing together what it means to be a mixed heritage, queer, woman having grown up in the 90's, in Wembley.<br/>Gender & sexuality, a spilt nail varnish, a murdered cat. Roann delves into her past, as she has some questions and questionable memories. All her family members are back in force in her second show and due to popular demand, more stories of her Algerian Mother and her unique take on life will take centre stage. <br/>'Congenial storyteller, a likeable stage presence, a lot of truth'
The Stage<br/>‘Ask her to read a train timetable and she could have her audience in stitches’.
British Theatre Guide<br/>‘Packed full of love, integrity, wit and humour.’ ****
Bath Echo <br/>‘McCloskey broaches the subjects of sexuality, family and dating in a fresh, tender and delicate manner that will leave an impression on you that is impossible to ignore.’ ****
WithinHerWords<br/>‘My Father... offers a mixture of meaningful reflections on family whilst still being able to relatably laugh at the fact your dad can't use Facebook properly.’ ****
Somewhere Magazine

4:30pm
A Lightweight Disposable Product ALINEMENT PRODUCTIONS

July 3rd, 1976. It’s Nora’s 19th birthday and it’s been three years to the day since she ran away from home. Standing outside the Pier Pavilion, Hastings, having just watched The Sex Pistols play live for the first time, she knows her life is about to change forever.

4:45pm
POLICE COPS: Badass Be Thy Name POLICE COPS

Hot off the back of total sell-out runs at Edinburgh Fringe 2016, 2017, 2018 and Soho Theatre, London; multi award-winning company Police Cops bring you their latest comedy blockbuster: Badass Be Thy Name. Gritty northern town: 1999. A kitchen sink drama turns into a vampire-slaying horror epic. Complete with a 90s rave soundtrack, supercharged physical comedy and more vampires that you can shake a stake at. Winners: Amused Moose Comedy Award 2018. ***** (Edinburgh Festivals Magazine). 'I paid £12, I would have paid £13' (Dara Ó Briain).

4:50pm
I’m OKayfabe: A Wrestling Comedy Fake Heat

Kayfabe: a pro wrestling term that refers to the act of blending characters and reality, which is sometimes how it feels to be a woman. In I'm OKayfabe, two failing humans smash the lights out of each other, trying to pin down what it is to be a woman in a brilliantly crafted hour of silly, dumb fun with an exceptionally smart narrative.
As enjoyable for hardcore wrestling fans as it is for those who've only ever known WWF as the World Wildlife Fund, I'm OKayfabe offers side-splitting laughs alongside heartbreaking social commentary. Come along for a night of slams, power bombs and DDTs, guest comedian commentators and the most remarkable shooting star press ever to have been performed by a baby.

5:00pm
Nathan D’Arcy Roberts: Someone’s Son (Work in Progress) Nathan D'Arcy Roberts

Award-nominated stand-up comedian Nathan D'Arcy Roberts brings a work-in-progress of his newest hour to the Vault Festival. In his sophomore show attempts to answer the question that has plagued him his entire life... Is his dad Denzel Washington? The answer may surprise you...

6:00pm
Scab Metamorph Theatre

'Scab' is a one-man show set in any one of the many deprived coastal towns in the UK, which asks the question 'to what extent can one delve into the life of a stranger?' Come and join the Narrator, played by Conor Lowson (‘The Liberator’, Opus Films for Netflix and BBC’s ‘Ladhood’), as he embarks on a playful, dark and devious odyssey into the recesses of his own mind.
This kinetic piece of storytelling is directed by Jamie Biddle (‘Whitechapel: Suspects, Lunatics and a Leather Apron’; ‘Extinct’, The Bush Theatre; ‘Conk the Dyslexia Goblin’, The Bush Theatre and ‘Smoking in the Boys Room’, Theatre503) and written by Luke Stapleton (‘Mycorrhiza', The Space; 'Retinas', Southwark Playhouse, and as Script Editor; BBC's 'The Capture' and Amazon Prime's 'Hanna').
'I have this hole in me
Here
(Gut)
Here
(Heart)
And here
(Brain)
And my whole life is spent just desperately tryin’ not to fall into it.'

6:00pm
Resonate : Brand Nouveau Initiative VAULT Edition Nouveau Riche

Resonate plunges into the mania of addiction affliction merging physical theatre, hip hop dance and spoken word. A pulsating lyrical journey into the soul of a modern young man from multi award winning company Nouveau Riche, written by Ntonga Mwanza.<br/>The Brand Nouveau Initiative, in partnership VAULT Festival, brings together a group of the best black and minority ethnic emerging artists ready to take the next step in their careers. The scheme provides opportunities to expand their networks, receive first class mentoring from our award winning team, and benefit from creative space, time and research opportunities.<br/>Following successful productions at New Diorama and Soho, this is your chance to experience the next generation of theatre practitioners collaborating together to create exciting, brand new work.<br/>Praise for Nouveau Riche -<br/>WINNER - Underbelly and New Diorama UNTAPPED Award (Queens of Sheba)
BEST NEW PLAY - Off West End Award Nomination (Typical)
BEST MALE PERFORMANCE - Off West End Award Nomination (Typical)

6:00pm
Miles Apart Together Paper Smokers

“The air is the only place that is free from prejudice”. Bessie Coleman<br/>They said she couldn’t do it but she could.
From going around the world on a bicycle to doing spectacular airshows or climbing the highest mountains on earth, Annie "Londonderry" Kopchovsky, Bessie Coleman and Junko Tabei fought the prejudice and scepticism that surrounded them.
Their achievements became milestones in the path towards women’s rights and freedom, challenging the assumption that the “fairer sex” lacks the physical and mental stamina for big deeds. Though their adventures were as breathtaking, spellbinding and phenomenal as their male counterparts, where are their stories now?
For one night only Annie, Bessie and Junko come back for the live recording of the podcast “Miles Apart Together” and share their stories.

6:00pm
Windows Of Displacement Toussaint To Move

Issues surrounding migration, home, borders and identity pose some of the biggest questions of our time. Akeim Toussaint Buck addresses these and more in his new, timely, dance theatre solo show: Windows of Displacement. Through the contextual lens of imperialism, colonialism and global displacement, he weaves a story that speaks to the lived experiences and human lives that are entangled in the politics of power and oppression.
“It always sounds a bit pompous to describe a show as being ‘important’, but that’s exactly what Windows of Displacement is. The fact that it manages to deliver its message while still being accessible, thought-provoking and immensely uplifting is a tribute to its creator.”<br/>John Murphy taken from a review written for Exeunt Magazine 2018<br/>Using his own journey of migration from Jamaica to the UK as a catalyst, Akeim Toussaint Buck brings together dance, spoken word and song to tell a story that is both deeply personal and universal. Through delving into his own journey, the audience is presented with a recent history of humanity. In this way, Toussaint Buck presents the threads connecting oppression, from the Transatlantic Slave Trade, to the current mining and exploitation of the Congo, from the micro to the macro, from the past to present.

6:10pm
Supernova pfh productions

Supernova is a fast-paced pop-culture romp through the space and time of one relationship featuring the greatest back catalogue of Sci-Fi movies ever made. Oh, and depression.<br/>Harry and Tess are perfect for each other: they both wanted to be astronauts as kids, neither can stand rom-coms and they both squirm at the word ‘moist’. But sometimes, however much the universe is drawing you towards a person, sometimes you need to find your own orbit.<br/>From one half of multi-award winning musical comedy duo Stiff & Kitsch (Musical Comedy Award Winners 2018, Official EdFringe sell-out 2019) comes a new play about finding your place in the universe.

6:15pm
BOAR BEASTHOUSE

Welcome to the Kingdom of Skadi. A place of adventure, a distant land where pirates, bounty hunters and thieves do battle in a world on the brink of destruction. With the King's daughter captured by an evil dragon, who will survive in this quest of epic proportions and formidable consequences? <br/>Armed with just himself and a chair, Lewis Doherty (creator of WOLF) presents Boar. A one-man fantasy adventure tale. Prepare for arrows to roll and heads to fly in this action packed hour of swords, sorcery and swill!

6:15pm
The Magnificent Mind of Marcus Seemia Theatre

Meet Marcus. Argentinian. Catholic. Straight. Maybe. He doesn't know anymore, or why he wanted to be Pope when he was young. <br/>Welcome to the Wonderful World of Marcus!<br/>Delving deep into the colourful circus of Marcus’ memories, we meet his fantastical family and friends, loves and losses as he grapples with the events that have shaped him. <br/>Hear the discovery of the dreams and wishes of Marcus and those close to him... but does anyone really listen?<br/>Award-winning Seemia return to VAULT with their dark-comedy, bursting with phsyical-theatre and storytelling, clowning and music. Seemia ask what makes us become who we are, pulling apart the matrix of gender politics, religion and the impact of family relationships on forming our identity.<br/>MARCUS is generously supported by Theatre Deli, The Albany, ARC Stockton and ArcolaLAB for BAME Artists, and public funding from the National Lottery through Arts Council England. Seemia are a Tangled Feet mentored company.

6:20pm
Passengers Vacuum Theatre

Max wants to tell you a story. He’s not entirely sure why, or even who he is; savage, peacekeeper or critic?<br/>Passengers, by award-winning UK trans writer Kit Redstone and highly acclaimed UK director Jessica Edwards, explores the epic battles within the psyche and the beautiful power of the mind to protect itself, using ensemble theatre to invite you to see the self in a whole new way.<br/>Kit Redstone has a mild form of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). This is a complex psychological condition, previously known as multiple personality disorder. Passengers is a semi-autobiographical dark comedy about the epic battles and alliances within the psyche and the power of the mind to protect itself from pain. Using Kit’s trademark blend of comedy, tragedy, playfulness and heart, Vacuum Theatre show us that by understanding we all have multiple, complex personalities, we can have more compassion and understanding for ourselves and each other. <br/>Kit Redstone’s previous show TESTOSTERONE was shortlisted for The Samuel Beckett Award, The Peter Brook Award and The Amnesty International Freedom of Expression Award and was winner of the Indies Best Theatre Show 2017.<br/>***** “A dark circus of bodies, metal, and sensuality” Ed Fringe Review

6:30pm
Sian Davies: About Time Sian Davies

Growing up is hard, but most people manage it. Sian Davies (Funny Women Runner Up, Hilarity Bites Winner 2018) waited until she was 27 to grow up. Everyone agreed, it was about time.<br/>“Simultaneously warm and sharp, she’s what Jason Manford would be if he was a Liverpudlian lesbian, with a broad appeal and snappy jokes.”
Steve Bennett, Chortle.
“A cross between Peter Kay and Zoe Lyons.”
Bruce Dessau, Beyond The Joke.<br/>About Time is the story of Sian's austerity sponsored gap year and her journey as a working class traveller in an unfamiliar world. From the Taj Mahal to the local Tesco, this overgrown kid has seen it all. She's been there, done that and got the T shirt to prove it. Along the way, much to everyone's relief, she finally manages to grow up.
Join Sian on this extraordinary journey as she shares the truth about what really happened on her gap year.

7:00pm
About 500 Simona Hughes

When Clem first dates Luke, she is a 32-year-old ambitious go-getter woman, (eggcount 115), with no interest in motherhood. Four years later, and happily in love, she decides she does want a child after all. Clem and Luke then gradually find themselves in a crisis of infertility, in which Clem becomes increasingly obsessed with time, (insisting it is going too fast), and counting things (like her remaining eggcount)... . To make matters worse, Clem’s older and best friend, Ruth, accidentally conceives a second child, aggravating her despair. By the time Clem is 42 (eggcount 7) she has become mentally and emotionally absent, slipping in and out of her own ‘egg-time’ (which runs faster than everyone else’s). Luke, fearing he has lost her, suggests that it’s time to give up on ‘project baby’.<br/>About 500 combines an unfolding drama between 3 characters with an exploration of the subjective nature of time and a docu-theatre thread suggesting the real women’s voices behind the play. It also uses movement and an ‘installation’ made up of 100s of tiny meringues to convey the spent and squandered ovulations that come to haunt the protagonist. The story’s 10-year passage of time is made explicit to the audience through an ever-present visual display of Clem’s remaining egg count, a forcible reminder of her ever diminishing odds.<br/>The average age of first conception for women in the UK is now 30 and climbing steadily. However, the cliff edge of female fertility remains brutal, dropping dramatically at 35, with the result that more and more women find themselves involuntarily childless in their 40s. This has a huge, and seriously overlooked, impact on women's mental health. The fundamental disparity between a punishingly finite female fertility and a potentially infinite male fertility remains an issue that our society has failed to address, and something of a blind spot for feminism.
About 500 invites audiences to consider this raw deal that contemporary women face.

7:20pm
Jordan Brookes: This is Just What Happens Fight in the Dog Ltd

EDINBURGH COMEDY AWARD WINNER 2019<br/>An hour of semi-improvised time-filling. I can’t promise anything. I don’t know what I’ll be talking about. I’ve no idea what this will be. The only thing I can guarantee is that it will have happened. At some point it will have happened, and you can’t say fairer than that.

7:20pm
Trying To Find Me Harts Theatre Company

Featuring movement and a club soundtrack Trying To Find Me is a semi- autobiographical show about the shame of pain. The show exposes the secret, heart-breaking and wonderfully honest and funny world of Ann — a black woman in her early 30s looking for love and in many ways, trying to heal. <br/>It incorporates BSL, creative captioning, visual sound technology and audio description, utilising a variety of communication styles woven into the narrative and movement fabric of the piece

7:30pm
A Lightweight Disposable Product ALINEMENT PRODUCTIONS

July 3rd, 1976. It’s Nora’s 19th birthday and it’s been three years to the day since she ran away from home. Standing outside the Pier Pavilion, Hastings, having just watched The Sex Pistols play live for the first time, she knows her life is about to change forever.

7:30pm
Far Gone John Rwothomack

“If I invited you to come with me on a journey, a story, will you come with me?”<br/>Northern Uganda. When Okumu’s village is attacked by the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), he and his brother’s lives are changed forever.<br/>Far Gone is a profoundly moving story of a young boy’s journey from childhood innocence to child soldier. Seen through the eyes of those that love him and those that betray him, Okumu’s experience strikes straight at the heart through a powerful one-man performance by John Rwothomack, directed by Moji Elufowoju.

7:30pm
Invisibles MIO Projects

The world premiere of Invisibles by Argentinian writer Lola Lagos platforms the voices of two Latin women who despite being robbed from their dignity and freedom, never succumb to losing their spirit.<br/>Sandra and Marisa have been in this place for a long time. A place they thought would bring a better life but only takes and takes and takes away... Yet when the music plays, the women dance, laugh and love. Stuck between abuse and violence, they keep on living and dreaming. Dreaming of a better life, somewhere across the river. <br/>Directed by feminist theatremaker Nastazja Somers, Invisibles is a haunting and political piece of theatre that brings us closer to understanding the real weight of endurance and resistance carried by so many women in many foreign lands.

7:45pm
Beach Body Ready The Roaring Girls

It's the season of cutting carbs, hitting it hard at the gym, and shaving everything from the chin down. Summer has rocked up and the media has us thinking about how our bodies aren't up to scratch and there are companies ready to capitalise on that. We've been shamed, dehumanised, and humiliated for how we look and we've had enough.
Join The Roaring Girls for a defiantly feel-good show which sticks two fingers up at how the media says you should look.
The Roaring Girls are getting Beach Body Ready. Are you?<br/>"Engaging, funny and inclusive" - The Guardian<br/>"Beach Body Ready is the show the world has been waiting for" - Within Her Words

7:45pm
Storm Bunch of People

"You've fucked the planet mum but you're still on me bout my phone"
Emma wants to dance. Phoebe is struggling to stay out of referal units. Austerity hasn’t helped, screens are proving to be very challenging and trauma lurks somewhere in the very beginnings of the umbilical cord. When you are battling a storm you gotta hanker down and believe it will pass. But when the storm gets into your home what do you do to protect yourself and the ones you love? STORM is a raw, new play written by Juliet Knight and gives voice to invisible women who have sat alone in special care units and now wonder if that is why their miracle children are teenagers who fight so hard against the world. Reaching 50, Juliet Knight searched for manifestations of her own personal story. Quickly realising they weren't out there she wanted to shed some light on how chaos, conflict and closeness in a single parent unit can affect a mother and daughter’s mental health. Using live music and physicality the production explores how changing-hormones and parenting teenagers can be a monumental catalyst for change and deserves airspace. First supported by The National Theatre Studio and using lived in experience as a single parent, Storm tells the story of a mother and daughter's intense and complex relationship which has built up through years of broken public services and shut down centres. It looks at the comic and tragic ways in which two family members fight against each other and questions why two people who love each other so much can hate so hard. Emma is a mother who misses her little girl and Phoebe is the adolescent the girl has become. This play is for any parent who has navigated the teenage years, any child who has stood up to their mother or anyone who is living in these interesting times. A brand new score by Tristan Parkes and Aruhan Galieva with direction by Sam Hardie and Juliet Knight.

7:50pm
1&Only Unlikely Productions

“An impressive success for Australian-born Unlikely Productions, who assemble a poignant and thought-provoking line-up of talent.” ***** (Broadway World UK on The Apologists)<br/>1&Only is a near-fi, bureaucratic, satirical comedy. The show takes place in 2048. The government has two years left to fulfill their promise of reaching net-zero carbon emissions by 2050, and so far, nothing has been done. In a last-ditch effort to save the planet, the Minister for Roads, Transport (and climate crisis) has decided to launch a one-child policy on the unwitting public.<br/>Led by a crack team of political strategists and marketing experts, the audience will join them in a secret underground vault for an emergency meeting as they brainstorm and blue-sky their way through catchy names, viral videos, subliminal messaging, propaganda pop and mind- control technology in their thankless mission to make the notion of a one-child policy sound like an appealing prospect.<br/>Brought to you by the team at Unlikely Productions (The Apologists), 1&Only is written by Gabrielle Scawthorn and Hugo Chiarella, directed by Sam Hooper (Death Suits You) and performed by Gabrielle Scawthorn (The Doctor Blake Mysteries), Rose Riley (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time) and Will Close (Great British Mysteries).<br/>In the age of Boris Johnson, Brexit and Trump, 1&Only is a comedic romp about the politics of selling and the selling of politics.

8:15pm
Michael Stranney (Work in Progress) Michael Stranney

Michael is one of the most innovative and versatile character comedians to recently hit the scene. His dense joke-driven writing combined with exceptional characterisation makes him a captivating performer. With all his characters he is able to immediately create a vividly evocative and hysterical world the audience becomes totally submerged in. His exceptional writing has made him a firm favourite in writing rooms and he has an uncanny knack for making viral content with his videos amassing millions of views.

8:40pm
Jenny Bede: The Musical Jenny Bede

Bede always worried that her classical training in musical theatre stopped her being seen as a proper comedian, serious actor, or decent human being. However, much like nationalism and Greggs, musical theatre is having a bit of a moment, and, always the fair weather friend, Jenny wants in on the action.  <br/>In her bid to become a younger, sexier Andrew Lloyd Webber, Jenny has written roughly somewhere between 35-45 future West End hit shows. Jenny Bede: The Musical will feature some of the very best songs from some of her favourite attempts.   In a bid to show off her - admittedly quite limited - range, Jenny will take her audience on a semi-autobiographical journey of singing ghosts, bad feminism and her time in a girlband, whilst giving her own unique spin on some of the big issues of the day, from gender politics to privilege, in this riotous celebration of musical theatre and modern pop music.<br/>As seen on Catastrophe (Channel 4), Humans (Channel 4), Stan Lee’s Lucky Man (Sky One), Lovesick (Netflix), Episodes (BBC2), Watson & Oliver (BBC2), Misfits (E4) and Broadchurch (ITV).

8:40pm
Who Murdered My Cat? Roann McCloskey

Not from the makers of ‘Making a Murderer’. Also not from the makers of ‘Kidnapped in Plain Sight’ – A journey of self discovery where Roann leaves no (wo)man behind. Piecing together what it means to be a mixed heritage, queer, woman having grown up in the 90's, in Wembley.<br/>Gender & sexuality, a spilt nail varnish, a murdered cat. Roann delves into her past, as she has some questions and questionable memories. All her family members are back in force in her second show and due to popular demand, more stories of her Algerian Mother and her unique take on life will take centre stage. <br/>'Congenial storyteller, a likeable stage presence, a lot of truth'
The Stage<br/>‘Ask her to read a train timetable and she could have her audience in stitches’.
British Theatre Guide<br/>‘Packed full of love, integrity, wit and humour.’ ****
Bath Echo <br/>‘McCloskey broaches the subjects of sexuality, family and dating in a fresh, tender and delicate manner that will leave an impression on you that is impossible to ignore.’ ****
WithinHerWords<br/>‘My Father... offers a mixture of meaningful reflections on family whilst still being able to relatably laugh at the fact your dad can't use Facebook properly.’ ****
Somewhere Magazine

8:50pm
JAMES ROWLAND & TOM BELL James Rowland

A THRILLING DOUBLE BILL OF COMEDY & STORYTELLING AS WE
PRESENT:<br/>TOM BELL : A WELCOME RETURN TO FORM
& JAMES ROWLAND : EAT MY TEARS<br/>James Rowland : Eat My Tears
There once was a lonely bear who wished he could be a train driver in the 80s (he had seen an advert one time when raiding bins in a nearby town.)
The villagers all quite liked the bear so they got together to make his dream come true but he was ill equipped for the job and the train crashed killing a lot of people and one bear (a different bear.)<br/>This, however, is not his tale.<br/>From the mind behind multiple Vault Festival Award winning shows and that really nice 5 star review in The Stage that time comes a new piece of story telling theatre so good, you'd swear it was Kitson!<br/>“Blistering” The Suffolk Medical Journal<br/>Tom Bell : A Welcome Return To Form.<br/>The last time Tom Bell wrote a stand up comedy show he was unable to stand up, luckily the comedy was excellent. This time he is perfectly able to stand; hopefully the jokes will be as good as his new found core strength. They should be. He's been writing them for ages.<br/>Stand up and character comedy intertwine the hugely anticipated new live show from the star of BBC's "The Mash Report", HBO's "Project Greenlight" and those two Star Wars movies where he's an alien.<br/>A tale of getting back on your feet from the master of upbeat surreal comedy.<br/>"Surreal comedy at its best" (Guardian)
"Sublime peaks and godawful troughs" (Scotsman)
"A wonderful guest! Hope he visits again." (AirBnB)

9:00pm
6/49 Angus Harrison

A play about luck and the stories we tell about money. <br/>Natalie. 25. Life on hold. <br/>Staring at an uncertain future, she picks over a series of moments in her life – both small and significant – trying to understand when things began to fall apart.<br/>‘6/49’ sets about defining the shapeless pressure of debt on low-income families. A new play by journalist Angus Harrison, directed by Elin Schofield.

9:00pm
The Ballerina Outer Gaea Company

Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness' meets Roald Dahl's 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'.<br/>Set in a country not so far away, Colin Clutterbuck, a British diplomat is brutally arrested by the National Intelligence Agency. Thrown into a cell and accused of conspiring to overthrow the government; Colin fights back with wit and great British banter. But with the infamous master interrogator, Pacifique Muamba as his opponent, the young diplomat is about to be painfully re-educated and taken to the brink of madness.<br/>Following a sold-out NYC Premiere, Outer Gaea Company makes it Vaults Festival debut with 'The Ballerina'.

9:15pm
POLICE COPS: Badass Be Thy Name POLICE COPS

Hot off the back of total sell-out runs at Edinburgh Fringe 2016, 2017, 2018 and Soho Theatre, London; multi award-winning company Police Cops bring you their latest comedy blockbuster: Badass Be Thy Name. Gritty northern town: 1999. A kitchen sink drama turns into a vampire-slaying horror epic. Complete with a 90s rave soundtrack, supercharged physical comedy and more vampires that you can shake a stake at. Winners: Amused Moose Comedy Award 2018. ***** (Edinburgh Festivals Magazine). 'I paid £12, I would have paid £13' (Dara Ó Briain).

9:15pm
MAWAAN RIZWAN: WERK IN PROGRESS PBJ LIVE

Mawaan has just finished touring the UK and Australia with Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye. After a sell-out Edinburgh Fringe, he’s back to shape a new bonkers show.<br/>As seen on BBC2's Live At The Apollo, Channel 4’s Harry Hill’s ClubNite and supporting Simon Amstell on tour.<br/>‘His combination of confessional comedy and skilful physicality mark him out as a definite name to watch’ **** Evening Standard<br/>**** Times
**** Ed Fest Mag
**** Fest
***** To Do List

9:20pm
I’m OKayfabe: A Wrestling Comedy Fake Heat

Kayfabe: a pro wrestling term that refers to the act of blending characters and reality, which is sometimes how it feels to be a woman. In I'm OKayfabe, two failing humans smash the lights out of each other, trying to pin down what it is to be a woman in a brilliantly crafted hour of silly, dumb fun with an exceptionally smart narrative.
As enjoyable for hardcore wrestling fans as it is for those who've only ever known WWF as the World Wildlife Fund, I'm OKayfabe offers side-splitting laughs alongside heartbreaking social commentary. Come along for a night of slams, power bombs and DDTs, guest comedian commentators and the most remarkable shooting star press ever to have been performed by a baby.

9:45pm
Patrick Spicer (Work in Progress) Patrick Spicer

Patrick Spicer (Nominee - Leicester Mercury Comedian of the Year 2018, Finalist - Amused Moose New Comic - 2019, Writer/Star - BBC3) is a self-destructive drinker, anxiety ridden hypochondriac, and childhood drug-taker, who lost his virginity just in time for it to still be humiliating. <br/>Sex, drugs, alcohol, disease, and bloke-ing out. Frowning at a laptop in November 2019, Patrick thinks by February he will have the makings of the makings of a show about that. Come along and see the childish optimism of the past meet the reckoning brutality of the future, in the form of silly jokes from a sensitive idiot. <br/>Following on from Patrick's sell out shows at last year's VAULT and Edinburgh festivals, this work-in-progress hour will preview new ideas and routines in the development of his much anticipated Edinburgh 2020 debut hour. Much of this new material will be coherent, punchy, and more than justify the price of admission, and the remainder will balance things out to an absolutely reasonable fee.

10:00pm
Brain of Brittain Jon Brittain

Olivier Award-winning playwright Jon Brittain's egotistically titled scratch night returns! <br/>Featuring rehearsed readings of brand new scripts alongside revivals of his best short plays - get a sneak preview of what's to come and a chance to see some old favourites*<br/>Previous instalments included work in progress sharings of Rotterdam and Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho...<br/>So, y'know, it might be good!<br/>*By favourites, he very much means his own favourites. No one has been asking for this.<br/>LINE UP TBC (but why not book now and take a chance!)<br/>Praise for Rotterdam<br/>What's On Stage ***** "A production of rare elegance and heart"
Evening Standard **** "Smartly observed and very funny"
Time Out **** "Warm, witty and wise"<br/>Praise for Super Happy Story (About Feeling Super Sad)<br/>What's On Stage ***** "You'll be hard-pushed to find a better musical at this year's Fringe"
British Theatre Guide ***** "A Super Happy Story is as good as it gets" <br/>Praise for Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho<br/>Attitude ***** "A rollicking good laugh, no matter what side of the political spectrum you sit on"
The Times **** "Joyous camp with political punch"