Today's full programme, more choices & comment

3:00pm
Stacey Solo and the Summer of Silence Tamar Broadbent

Stacey Solo is strong female lead (detective), about to face the toughest case of her career: a woman enters the department with no voice, a shoe-stealing criminal is unexpectedly acquitted, and a strange set of initials appears at every turn... <br/>Burdened with a tragic back story and struggling with her personal life, Stacey must throw the rule book out of the window and solve the summer of silence, before it's too late.<br/>This is a fast-paced, high-energy, feminist piece of character comedy with a narrative from the mind of Tamar Broadbent (BBC Radio 4, Comedy Central, Boom Chicago). Inspired by all your favourite Netflix heroines, with an explosive musical score by John-Victor (Club Mex), this fun-packed show explores femininity, ambition, how many characters one actor can play, and what it really means to be a ‘strong female lead’ in 2020.

3:00pm
On Arriving Searchout Theatre

On Arriving is a new one-woman play, exploring a young refugee’s fight for survival, as her country falls apart before her eyes. <br/>We are transported back and forth through memories as she shares her journey; from the familiarity of joking with friends and navigating young love, to what it means to lose loved ones and what we call home.<br/>Presented through a non-linear structure - reflecting the way we recall memories - this brave, poetic play looks at the human moments of one person’s choice to leave a place they have known their entire life, to set off for something unknown.<br/>Sophia Eleni performs with deep, personal connection to the story of home and war, her own family having been made refugees when fleeing Cyprus in 1974 after the Turkish invasion.<br/>The play is directed by Cat Robey, Deputy Artistic Director of Jermyn Street Theatre.<br/>It is written by Ivan Faute, an award winning playwright from the US, who has worked with Bosnian refugees in America and minority students in Vietnam, where he lived for several years.<br/>Praise for the earlier short version:<br/>“With Cat Robey directing, it is of course performed with compassion and care. Actress Sophia Eleni ably captures all the anger, frustration and desperation from having to leave the most important thing behind.” ????View From The Gods<br/>“A strongly performed and emotionally charged piece of theatre.” LondonTheatre1

3:00pm
The Indecent Musings of Miss Doncaster 2007 Think and Hit

Meet Miss Donny.
Life hasn't quite turned out the way she thought it would when she accepted her sash and crown, stood on a podium in Trilogy nightclub back in 2007.
No-one goes out any more. Tinder is shit. And she's pretty sure her dad is dying.
Things couldn't get much worse. Until she sits on a Cactus...
Naked.

3:00pm
TUNA AIRLOCK

TUNA is a new darkly comic look at the unsexy side of girls growing up around guns; the knottiness of social mobility, and a meatier side of female criminality. It's a little less beautiful-bond-girl and a little more British school-girl. Semi-autobiographical and stored in brine.<br/>Higher education is dangled in front of her face like a carrot on a stick. Before she can snatch it from the air, our girl must navigate her rehabilitation group; protect her cat-obsessed sister and fend off the cash fairy. Trying desperately to find an escape, and not become a product of her upbringing. However, it's all made harder when the toys you played with as a kid were semi-automatic. <br/>There's physical comedy, stand up, storytelling and a bit with a bath. All of this comes together to tell this unique, true-crime-esque story. We get a small look inside a life that began surrounded by illegality, and whether those circumstances make a person congenitally criminal.
London has had some of it's bloodiest years in decades at the hands of offenders that are getting younger and younger. Rather than present day consequences for these crimes, shouldn't we focus energy on understanding the lives and circumstances of those involved? <br/>TUNA isn't going to solve anything, but it's going to tell you a story unlike anything you've seen before.<br/>Following scratch performances at The Bunker theatre in 2019, TUNA travelled from to The Kings Head Theatre as part of the Playmill new writing festival, garnering incredible audience feedback and forward momentum. TUNA then played at various off-west-end London venues before embarking upon it's first full run at the VAULT festival 2020.

3:00pm
Jack Chisnall: The Mysteries (Work in Progress) Jack Chisnall

A provincial fool does jokes about the Christian faith and community. Come see as he tries to vainly resurrect the stories and myths that once held us together.<br/>One half of acclaimed double-act Moon ('one of the best-reviewed shows of 2018 Fringe' British Comedy Guide; "wonderfully warped" **** The Scotsman).

3:00pm
Be Longing G&T Productions

What if making a baby were as simple as ticking a box. <br/>In the not-too-distant present, gene splicing has taken the queer family to a whole new level. Sigrid and Jim are a normal couple - they laugh, they fight, they make up. But when it comes to starting a family, will their relationship stand the test-tube of time? <br/>Follow these two queer womxn as they navigate the edges of morality in a dystopian tale of genetic engineering, baby showers and losing love.

3:10pm
Frida Kahlo: Viva la Vida! Footprint Productions & Tirso Theatre Co

¡Art, passion, obsession!<br/>An explosive on-stage portrait of Latin America’s Greatest Female Painter.<br/>Sharp, witty and bursting with colour, this critically acclaimed, award-winning one-woman show returns to London for its 10 year anniversary, after a sizzling sell out run around the world. Based on fragments of Frida Kahlo’s biography, letters and extracts from her diary, this play powerfully recreates the life of a unique artist, a painter who transferred her vibrant culture and her deepest dramas onto canvas. <br/>***** The Scotsman ***** Fringe Review ***** London Theatre Guide***** Extra!Extra! **** Metro **** Three Weeks **** On Stage Scotland<br/>“Mesmerising and compelling. A must-see” - London Theatre Guide<br/>“ Gaël Le Cornec inhabits the role of Frida like a second skin” - The Stage<br/>ARGUS ANGEL AWARD ARTISTIC EXCELLENCE: Brighton Festival
UNIVERSAL ARTS AWARD: Edinburgh Fringe
APT CRITICS AWARD BEST EMERGING PLAYWRIGHT: Mexico

3:10pm
Labels Joe Sellman-Leava / Worklight

“Powerful, important and funny” Emma Thompson<br/>Worklight Theatre’s multi-award winning show is a funny, moving and honest story about family, heritage and migration. Charting a childhood in 90’s Devon, shifting political landscapes and global refugee crisis, the show blends comedy, storytelling and spoken word.<br/>With humour and honesty, Labels offers a real, human story from multicultural Britain.Expect paper planes, racist romances and lots of sticky labels!

3:20pm
Sister! Rosa's Assembly

Jade and Lauren are telling stories, and saving lives. This heartwarming and thought- provoking physical show encourages you to stand up and join the fight to save our NHS. <br/>It's 2030 and Jade and Lauren are nurses working in an NHS hospital. Join them as they travel through time to discover the women who came before them; the female nurses who've strived, struggled, and sacrificed for their right to save our lives. They're standing up for themselves, for the NHS, for you and me, and they're standing up for the right to help people! In a post- Brexit, post-privatisation world - just how far will you go to save the NHS?<br/>Using physical theatre and verbatim text Sister! combines reality with fantasy as it explores the history of nurses in the NHS. A heartwarming celebration of the women throughout history who have kept us alive against the odds, and a call to action to keep the past in the past.

3:30pm
Jake Baker: Talk of Situations Jake Baker

After the success of his first solo hour, Jake presents his highly-anticipated second show. An exploration of moral quandaries and how our ethical ideals can be hard to put into practice. Expect plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and memorable stories. <br/>The Edinburgh Reporter - 'Endearingly offbeat, with great comic timing and an engagingly whimsical mind.’ ****

4:30pm
Big Bones FacePlant Theatre

Big Bones. Even Bigger Adventure!<br/>Inspired by the true story of the Irish Giant, this brand new family show is created by the team behind One Duck Down, winner of Family Show of The Year, VAULT Festival 2018. Come join the circus!<br/>Little Nora thinks she is all alone in the world...and is thrilled to find she is the long lost grand daughter of Big Bones, the founder of the Big Bones Big Top Circus who are in town that week! <br/>But this circus is in deep trouble, under the spell of a dreadful curse that has blighted them for 100 years. They haven’t had a single audience member since Big Bone’s humongous skeleton was snatched and put on display in a museum against his dying wishes.
Can Nora break the curse, save the circus and keep her new family together? <br/>Big Bones features puppetry, original songs, an all female cast, a psychic octopus and a daring museum heist for the ages.
Big Bones is a humerus tale which celebrates that friends can be the family that we choose, and shows us that the things that make us different; are really the things that make us magic.<br/>Praise for previous show One Duck Down: <br/> ‘A funny family show with a beautiful message'
***** The Upper Circle<br/>‘Impossible for the whole family not to enjoy’
***** The Spy in the Stalls

4:30pm
Since U Been Gone Teddy Lamb and Ameena Hamid Productions Ltd.

“He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore binary?”<br/>When friends die and pronouns change, what's left of the memories that don't fit anymore? From childhood co-stars, through teenage rebellion, a moving and powerful autobiographical account about growing up queer in the mid-noughties, finding yourself, and losing a friend. Brought to life with storytelling, an original pop music score and way too many America’s Next Top Model references.

4:30pm
What the Dolls Saw House of Macabre

4 stars This all-female horror story is deliciously spine-tingling, yet riven through with comedy, too. The tale surrounds a family - a mother, three daughters, and a mysterious friend - who re-unite for the first time in years after their father’s funeral. The father was a doll-maker, there’s an ominous locked workshop… and it goes without saying that a secret’s buried somewhere in the family’s past. Read the full review.

Three sisters travel home for the funeral of their father, who happens to be the world’s greatest Dollmaker. With their mother on the edge of sanity, and an unsolved case haunting the family, the sisters must unearth dark secrets to find out: what did the dolls see?<br/>A delight for fans of true crime with a plot that unravels like a mystery podcast. This a play about sisterhood, and the pressure upon women to fit into the perfect china mould. Not recommended for those with a phobia of dolls... or a fear of feminism.<br/>Written by Nic Lamont who has penned dark comedy for BBC3 and BBC Radio 4.

4:30pm
Patricia Gets Ready (for a date with the man that used to hit her) Martha Watson Allpress

Patricia has spent a year crafting a kick ass speech while recovering from an abusive relationship. But when she bumps into her ex on the street, and accidentally agrees to dinner with him that night, she's got some big decisions to make; what to wear? What to say? And whether or not to go? Join Patricia as she gets ready for the date; tells stories of her past, how it has affected her present, and looks honestly at her future.<br/>Patricia Gets Ready (for a date with the man that used to hit her) is an honest, funny and heartbreaking look at what it is to recover from trauma. Aiming to shatter the weathered stereotype of the 'broken woman,' this show presents a survivor, in all her colours.

4:30pm
Monster Joe Sellman-Leava and Worklight Theatre

"This is a story abut a boy. And a girl. Some of it's true. Some of it isn't. But I'm not going to tell you which is which."<br/>Internationally acclaimed Worklight Theatre (Labels, How to Start a Riot) present a startling new play about the conflicting masculinities we perform. <br/>Writer-performer Joe Sellman-Leava blends together vastly different voices (including Mike Tyson, Patrick Stewart and Shakespeare!) into a one-man epic where heroes clash with villains, men become monsters, and truth and fiction collide. <br/>***** "Beautifully written...a stellar performance" West End Wilma<br/>***** “a powerful and timely exploration of masculinity in crisis” Theatre Bubble<br/>****“Brimming with earnest, intelligent energy ” The Stage <br/>**** "Original and ambitious" A Younger Theatre<br/>**** "Completely absorbing" Theatre Weekly<br/>**** "Striking" Edinburgh Festivals Magazine<br/>**** "Intelligent and quizzical" The Scotsman<br/>**** "Highly inventive" Stage Talk Magazine<br/>**** "Mesmerising" Reviews Gate<br/>WINNER: VAULT Festival Show of the Week 2018

4:45pm
Northern Stage’s NORTH Takeover: Minge Unhinged Your Aunt Fanny

Your Aunt Fanny are an all-female comedy sketch group from the North East of England. Minge Unhinged is a celebration of all things fabulous, ridiculous and thoroughly inappropriate. Ultimately, Your Aunt Fanny believe that nothing is out of bounds and encourages the outrageous wherever possible. Minge Unhinged vividly captures a night out on the town with your wildest, oldest, filthiest friend.

4:50pm
GORGON: A Horror Story Elf Lyons

An original horror story with jump scares and a bit of well placed gore. Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Medusa. You'll scream or be sick. That's the aim.<br/>A taxidermist loses her temper and decides to experiment with the human form...<br/>With live foley and horror tricks inspired by the gruesome Le Théâtre du Grand-Guignol - GORGON is a horror show to delight and scare in equal measure - focussing on that taboo subject... female anger.<br/>Created by award winning and renowned comedian and clown ELF LYONS (Edinburgh Comedy Award Best Show Nominee 2017)

5:00pm
The Sam Fletcher Show PBJ LIVE

Join Fletcher for an intimate, up-beat hour of stupid jokes and gleeful set-pieces - including a bit where he levitates. Yeah, like off the ground and everything. <br/>Edinburgh Comedy Awards Best Newcomer Nominee<br/> Time Out’s One To Watch<br/>“A total Pro”
**** The Times<br/>“A Star is born”
**** Metro

6:00pm
Be Longing G&T Productions

What if making a baby were as simple as ticking a box. <br/>In the not-too-distant present, gene splicing has taken the queer family to a whole new level. Sigrid and Jim are a normal couple - they laugh, they fight, they make up. But when it comes to starting a family, will their relationship stand the test-tube of time? <br/>Follow these two queer womxn as they navigate the edges of morality in a dystopian tale of genetic engineering, baby showers and losing love.

6:00pm
On Arriving Searchout Theatre

On Arriving is a new one-woman play, exploring a young refugee’s fight for survival, as her country falls apart before her eyes. <br/>We are transported back and forth through memories as she shares her journey; from the familiarity of joking with friends and navigating young love, to what it means to lose loved ones and what we call home.<br/>Presented through a non-linear structure - reflecting the way we recall memories - this brave, poetic play looks at the human moments of one person’s choice to leave a place they have known their entire life, to set off for something unknown.<br/>Sophia Eleni performs with deep, personal connection to the story of home and war, her own family having been made refugees when fleeing Cyprus in 1974 after the Turkish invasion.<br/>The play is directed by Cat Robey, Deputy Artistic Director of Jermyn Street Theatre.<br/>It is written by Ivan Faute, an award winning playwright from the US, who has worked with Bosnian refugees in America and minority students in Vietnam, where he lived for several years.<br/>Praise for the earlier short version:<br/>“With Cat Robey directing, it is of course performed with compassion and care. Actress Sophia Eleni ably captures all the anger, frustration and desperation from having to leave the most important thing behind.” ????View From The Gods<br/>“A strongly performed and emotionally charged piece of theatre.” LondonTheatre1

6:00pm
Mighty Jack AG Britton

The ‘remarkable’ (Scotsman) and bite-sized Jack AG Britton presents Mighty; a TED-talk-meets-theatre show that combines comedy, live music and spoken word to ask the big (or little) question: should we be taking Heightism more seriously?
Often whimsical, sometimes woeful, Mighty delves into masculinity, body image and mental health in a documentary performance that could just about make it onto the best rides at Alton Towers.
'Hilarious and thought provoking' **** Three Weeks

6:00pm
TUNA AIRLOCK

TUNA is a new darkly comic look at the unsexy side of girls growing up around guns; the knottiness of social mobility, and a meatier side of female criminality. It's a little less beautiful-bond-girl and a little more British school-girl. Semi-autobiographical and stored in brine.<br/>Higher education is dangled in front of her face like a carrot on a stick. Before she can snatch it from the air, our girl must navigate her rehabilitation group; protect her cat-obsessed sister and fend off the cash fairy. Trying desperately to find an escape, and not become a product of her upbringing. However, it's all made harder when the toys you played with as a kid were semi-automatic. <br/>There's physical comedy, stand up, storytelling and a bit with a bath. All of this comes together to tell this unique, true-crime-esque story. We get a small look inside a life that began surrounded by illegality, and whether those circumstances make a person congenitally criminal.
London has had some of it's bloodiest years in decades at the hands of offenders that are getting younger and younger. Rather than present day consequences for these crimes, shouldn't we focus energy on understanding the lives and circumstances of those involved? <br/>TUNA isn't going to solve anything, but it's going to tell you a story unlike anything you've seen before.<br/>Following scratch performances at The Bunker theatre in 2019, TUNA travelled from to The Kings Head Theatre as part of the Playmill new writing festival, garnering incredible audience feedback and forward momentum. TUNA then played at various off-west-end London venues before embarking upon it's first full run at the VAULT festival 2020.

6:10pm
Fanboy (Work in Progress) Joe Sellman-Leava & Worklight

Joe has always been a nerd. As a kid he was unaware of it. As a teenager he hid it. As a twenty-something he owned it. But as Joe turned 30, two things occurred to him. Firstly, humanity had been given 12 years to save the world from climate chaos, and what was Joe doing? Playing games and watching films, that's what. Secondly, he'd always felt like the fandoms he belonged to gave him a community when he was isolated. But, as he looked closer, it seemed some of those communities had become perpetrators of the very things they once provided respite from. It's like Buzz Lightyear said: "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Wait...what?<br/>Fanboy is a love-hate letter to the things we adore absolutely, unconditionally and obsessively. It also asks questions about the nature of fandom. Is our relationship with pop-culture and nostalgia preventing us from engaging with the present? Are we worshipping false gods? And - when Donald Trump claims he could shoot someone and not lose voters - just how far will fans go for their idols? <br/>Multi-award-winning Worklight Theatre (How to Start a Riot, Labels, Monster) return to VAULT Festival to present a work-in-progress of their brand new show. Written by Fringe First winner Joe Sellman-Leava, and directed by Yaz Al-Shaater, Fanboy is a blend of storytelling, comedy and performance art. Fast-paced, funny, and highly visual, expect mini-versions of your favourite films. Like Harry Potter in 60 seconds. The Marvel Cinematic Universe in 60 seconds. And Gone in 60 Seconds in 60 seconds. Expect hand-drawn fan-art filling the floor, slash fiction and haikus filling the air, and the smell of the 90s filling your nostrils...whatever that means.<br/>And expect more quotes, references and easter eggs than Pixar films have Randy Newman songs!

6:10pm
Northern Stage’s NORTH Takeover: And She Bonnie and The Bonnettes

Advice taken and ignored, tellings off, pep talks and tales of her past. We were always scared of sounding just like her but maybe she was right about some things. <br/>Part gig, part their mums' living rooms, Bonnie and The Bonnettes delve into motherhood, womanhood and femininity through conversations with their mums, armed with three microphones, music, and a bottle of prosecco.<br/>They are a tribe of women that have shown us the way and it's time to celebrate, so put on a buffet and crack open the bubbly because they are our mums and it's about time we chanted it.

6:15pm
The Indecent Musings of Miss Doncaster 2007 Think and Hit

Meet Miss Donny.
Life hasn't quite turned out the way she thought it would when she accepted her sash and crown, stood on a podium in Trilogy nightclub back in 2007.
No-one goes out any more. Tinder is shit. And she's pretty sure her dad is dying.
Things couldn't get much worse. Until she sits on a Cactus...
Naked.

6:30pm
Will Rowland: Butterfly Will Rowland

This show is for anyone who's ever been in love. And anyone out of love. And anyone behind, on top of, close to, between, around or under love. One for the lovers basically.<br/>A work in progress show from a uniquely silly comedian.

7:00pm
Stacey Solo and the Summer of Silence Tamar Broadbent

Stacey Solo is strong female lead (detective), about to face the toughest case of her career: a woman enters the department with no voice, a shoe-stealing criminal is unexpectedly acquitted, and a strange set of initials appears at every turn... <br/>Burdened with a tragic back story and struggling with her personal life, Stacey must throw the rule book out of the window and solve the summer of silence, before it's too late.<br/>This is a fast-paced, high-energy, feminist piece of character comedy with a narrative from the mind of Tamar Broadbent (BBC Radio 4, Comedy Central, Boom Chicago). Inspired by all your favourite Netflix heroines, with an explosive musical score by John-Victor (Club Mex), this fun-packed show explores femininity, ambition, how many characters one actor can play, and what it really means to be a ‘strong female lead’ in 2020.

7:20pm
Gobby Jodie Irvine

Five parties. One big mouth. <br/>Bri's not who she used to be, so she's revisiting the five parties that changed her. A biting and heartfelt dark comedy about what it really means to be loud, this new play is a story of survival, an exploration of self-awareness and a lesson in how to throw a really good party. Sellout shows Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Pleasance Theatre "Best of Edinburgh" Season 2019. <br/>***** "Unforgettable" (Broadway Baby)
***** "A raw, triumphant and soaring one-woman odyssey" (Stage Whispers)
**** "Pure genius" (North West End)
**** (Feminist Fringe Review)
**** (Remote Goat)

7:20pm
Shelf: Straight (Work in Progress) Shelf

In 2015, Rachel and Ruby started being Shelf, a comedy double act. A lot has changed since then - namely, Ruby cut her hair and came out (not necessarily in that order). Shelf offer a “winning hybrid of sketch show and standup” (Edfringe Review) that has been said to “find belly laughs in heavyweight topics such as gender, sexuality and mental health” (Diva Magazine). <br/>In this work in progress show, Straight, you can expect to find all of these things as Shelf look back over their beloved and largely unknown career as a double act.<br/>Since their formation, Shelf have performed at Bestival, London Pride, and been nominated for Sketchfest’s Best New Act award. Their work has appeared on BBC3 and LADBible. They are founding members of sell out monthly night The LOL Word, which showcases queer women and non-binary comedians from across the London comedy circuit. They are board members of the cult hit Alternative Comedy Memorial Society, with whom they regularly perform in London and Edinburgh.

7:30pm
Me Myself I Holly White Productions

"You're here so I can keep on living. You're my legacy."<br/>Set in the near future as the climate crisis takes hold, Lana decides to clone herself so she can continue her life, relationship and digital presence. Lena takes on Lana's identity but the life and world she has inherited is not what she expected.<br/>Me Myself I is about how we continue to create meaning in a world that is disappearing.<br/>Brought to you by a team of multiple Off West End Award nominees, Me Myself I is written by Carla Grauls (Audible Emerging Writer, Nick Darke Award winner), directed by Andrew Twyman (Velvet - VAULT Festival, Pleasance Edinburgh Fringe, on tour) and presented by Holly White (Brilliant Jerks - VAULT Show of the Week 2018. Finding Fassbender - VAULT Festival, Pleasance Edinburgh Fringe).

7:30pm
Since U Been Gone Teddy Lamb and Ameena Hamid Productions Ltd.

“He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore binary?”<br/>When friends die and pronouns change, what's left of the memories that don't fit anymore? From childhood co-stars, through teenage rebellion, a moving and powerful autobiographical account about growing up queer in the mid-noughties, finding yourself, and losing a friend. Brought to life with storytelling, an original pop music score and way too many America’s Next Top Model references.

7:30pm
I’m Not Here To Make Friends The Free Association

Sit back and enjoy a juicy new improvised Reality TV show, available for one night only, live at VAULT. Don't be shady and sashay away, stay loyal babes. Bring that sickening soggy bottom and give us four yeses because we are 100% your type on
paper, okurrrrr? Get ready to be #gagged #shook and tweeting #thatshot because we'll be trending before you know it.<br/>Brought to you by The Free Association and featuring a cast of some of the UK's top improv comedians, the performers will create a gripping, hilarious and utterly scandalous Reality TV show entirely inspired by your suggestions.<br/>Love reality TV? You'll love this. Hate reality TV? You'll still love it.<br/>This show is one of a series of hit improv shows presented by The Free Association in a two-week VAULT takeover. Other shows include Jacuzii, SORRY, The Badge: An Improvised Cop Show, The Nearly News Show, Starry Starry Eyes, RAD Party, Important Art, LGBTQFA and Minority Report. Book two for £15 or three for £20 as part of The Free Association Package Deal.

7:45pm
Mark Watson: This Can’t Be It (Work in Progress) Impatient Productions

Halfway through his life according to the life expectancy calculator, Watson takes an audit of his time on earth in this WIP of his brand new show. His thirties have been eventful to say the least. At 40, his life is in the best shape in living memory... but one problem remains, and it really is a huge one. Spiritual enquiry meets high-octane observational comedy as the still very skinny Watson, as usual, attempts to cram a year of pathological overthinking into just under an hour's (surprisingly cheap!) standup. Maybe we'll even solve the huge problem. Doubt it, though.<br/>***** “Quite unlike anything else I’ve seen in almost 20 years of covering the Fringe...witty, warm, perfectly judged” Telegraph
**** "This is a stand-up operating at the very top of his game" Independent
****“He always displays an innate understanding of what the audience wants...creating a bespoke experience for every gig, an added flourish to a strong hour of stand-up” Chortle
**** “A quick-fire hour of fun” Metro
**** “A classy, confident hour of comedy from one of the Fringe's most celebrated sons” Fest

7:45pm
Lost Laowais Eschaton Theatre

Welcome to Beijing. Population: 21 million. Plus four Brits. Lost Laowais follows the intertwining lives of four expats in one of Asia’s largest metropolises and asks: can Westerners ever find a home in Chinese society?<br/>(L?owài ??. Noun. Colloquial term for a foreigner, literally 'old outsider'.)<br/>While translator Julian is looking for a flatmate, he meets Lisa, a British-born Chinese woman who has abruptly upended her life to teach English in a country that is quickly turning out not to live up to her expectations. Their initial meeting turns into a clash regarding the politics of China’s expatriate population. Meanwhile, celebrated writer and ‘old China hand’ Robert is beginning to tire of twenty years of feeling like an outsider. And ‘third culture kid’ Ollie is chafing under the pressures of overbearing diplomat parents whose lifestyle sees them uprooting their lives and moving across the world every few years. As the characters’ lives collide, Lost Laowais asks: how does the West approach China in the 21st century? And have we really moved on from our colonialist past?

7:50pm
In My Lungs The Ocean Swells no more superheroes.

We are seafarers. We catch fish, always have.<br/>The ocean is at the centre of all life. But especially for Julie and Simon, who have grown up with salt seeping into their bloodstream, their childhoods tangled up with the Cornish Coast. And the sea has always been there, sustaining generations of their families.<br/>But as adulthood looms on the horizon, and climate and ecological crisis shake the globe, Julie begins to dream of a life lived inland among the bright lights of the city, and Simon's nets keep coming back empty.<br/>Set amidst the decline of the British Fishing Industry, In My Lungs the Ocean Swells is a coming-of-age story, about holding on to who you think you are, in a world that is trying its best to shake that from your grasp.

8:15pm
Katie Pritchard: Storm Stud Katie Pritchard

Get ready for some high-octane musical comedy fun from carnage-wielding, storm-stud of a snazzy idiot: Katie Pritchard. Expect incredible (very hand-made) costumes, chaos, and pumping choons in a riotous romp through Katie's synapses; enjoy observational comedy from a completely different angle. <br/>WINNER Musical Comedy Awards 2019
WINNER 2Northdown New Act of the Year 2019<br/>"Inventive and hilarious" (Broadway Baby)
"Katie Pritchard is a veritable Sizewell B" (Chortle)
"Mindblowing" (Herts Advertiser)
"Always original and entertaining" (Female Arts Magazine)
“Fantastically weird” (Femedy)
"An explosion of joyful lunacy" (Stuart Goldsmith, The Comedian's Comedian Podcast)

8:40pm
Lew Fitz: Babs Lew Fitz

With his solo fringe debut talented newcomer Lew Fitz (BBC New Comedy Award Nominee 2018) comedian Lew Fitz pieces together the story of a running away from his Northern home and the decade trying to find his way back. <br/>It is a show about embracing where you are from, who made you who you are and finding who you are supposed to be. With his ''vibrant and nimble writing' (Chortle) ''Babs' is a rollercoaster ride that Lew delivers with his engaging, unhinged and inimitable approach. Fuelled by heartbreak and loss, it's a show about embracing where you are from and who made you who you are. <br/>This is a no holds barred hour from a blistering new talent that looks at running away, breaking up and breaking down and then finding the strength to piece yourself together again and be what you want to be in life, no matter where you are from and obstacles in your way.

8:40pm
Patricia Gets Ready (for a date with the man that used to hit her) Martha Watson Allpress

Patricia has spent a year crafting a kick ass speech while recovering from an abusive relationship. But when she bumps into her ex on the street, and accidentally agrees to dinner with him that night, she's got some big decisions to make; what to wear? What to say? And whether or not to go? Join Patricia as she gets ready for the date; tells stories of her past, how it has affected her present, and looks honestly at her future.<br/>Patricia Gets Ready (for a date with the man that used to hit her) is an honest, funny and heartbreaking look at what it is to recover from trauma. Aiming to shatter the weathered stereotype of the 'broken woman,' this show presents a survivor, in all her colours.

8:50pm
Jacuzii The Free Association

Come on in, the water's fine... In this critically acclaimed improvised comedy show, an all-star of improvisers will be join by a very special guest 'monologist'. <br/>Our guest will take a one-word suggestion from the audience to inspire their ‘monologue’ - true stories, opinions, thoughts, and anecdotes from their own life. These monologues are sometimes dark, sometimes racy, usually weird and always real! <br/>Our all-star team of improvisers will then use these monologues to inspire completely improvised scenes and sketches, for a fast-paced, electric and hilarious hour of comedy. Every show is completely different, but one thing is for sure - It’s all created in the moment, before your very eyes.<br/>GUESTS NOW ANNOUNCED:<br/>Friday 7th Feb with special guest AMELIA DIMOLDENBERG
Saturday 8th Feb with special guest JORDAN BROOKES
Saturday 15th Feb with special guest GEORGINA CAMPBELL<br/>This show is one of a series of hit improv shows presented by The Free Association in a two-week VAULT takeover. Other shows include SORRY, The Nearly News Show, The Badge: An Improvised Cop Show, The Nearly News Show, Starry Starry Eyes, RAD Party, Important Art, LGBTQFA and Minority Report. Book two for £15 or three for £20 as part of The Free Association Package Deal.

9:00pm
John-Luke Roberts: Terrible Wonderful Adaptations John-Luke Roberts

Following a surprising (and culturally deeply unsettling) sell-out smash-hit ruin* at the Edinburgh fringe, this mindbogglingly awful (and disquietingly successful) idea for a comedy
extravaganza face-plants into the VAULT Festival. JLR wrangles together an all-star cast of the best comedians and worst idiots into creating a never-before-seen adaptation of an unadaptable text.<br/>Previous catastrophic attempts include Francis Fukuyama's discredited political treatise The End of History, post-structuralist Roland Barthes' A Lover's Discourse, the iTunes Terms and
Conditions, Ulysses & Á la Recherche du Temps Perdu. February's treats will be revealed each night.<br/>*This is a typo for “ruin” but has been kept for posterity.

9:00pm
What the Dolls Saw House of Macabre

4 stars This all-female horror story is deliciously spine-tingling, yet riven through with comedy, too. The tale surrounds a family - a mother, three daughters, and a mysterious friend - who re-unite for the first time in years after their father’s funeral. The father was a doll-maker, there’s an ominous locked workshop… and it goes without saying that a secret’s buried somewhere in the family’s past. Read the full review.

Three sisters travel home for the funeral of their father, who happens to be the world’s greatest Dollmaker. With their mother on the edge of sanity, and an unsolved case haunting the family, the sisters must unearth dark secrets to find out: what did the dolls see?<br/>A delight for fans of true crime with a plot that unravels like a mystery podcast. This a play about sisterhood, and the pressure upon women to fit into the perfect china mould. Not recommended for those with a phobia of dolls... or a fear of feminism.<br/>Written by Nic Lamont who has penned dark comedy for BBC3 and BBC Radio 4.

9:15pm
Comedy Swingers Party 2020 Comedy Swingers Party 2020

You know when your partner takes you to a party and then everyone starts putting their car keys in a bowl and pairing off with Carol from number forty -two’s husband Clive while you’re standing there holding a bowl of nachos cos you didn’t realise it was gonna be that kind of night?
This is that kind of night.
With comedy.
The names of sixty of your favourite sketch, character and stand up performers are put in a hat. From that 12 brand new sketch groups are created.
The only rule? They can’t work with anyone they have worked with before.
It’s not cheating if their partner knows about it right?
Each group has to come up with a 12 minute set of never seen before material and you the audience are gonna get to judge who the best is on the night.
The winning team each week will go on to fight it out in the final for the title of Comedy Swingers 2020.<br/>Heat One - Sat 8th Feb<br/>Group One<br/>Amy Gledhill - The Delightful Sausage
Kat Butterfield – Northern Power Blouse
Tom Burgess – Sam and Tom
Raphael Wakefield<br/>Group Two<br/>Chris Cantrill – The Delightful Sausage
Ed MacArthur
Natasha Granger – Swipe Right Theatre
Joz Norris
Pete Simpson - Pojj<br/>Group Three<br/>Anna Leong Brophy - Egg
Phillipa Carson – Just These Please
Rajiv Karia
Sam Nicoresti – Sam and Tom<br/>Group Four<br/>Alex Fox
Luke Rollason - Privates
Anna Piper – Hot Mess
Katie Davison – Next Best Thing<br/>Group Five<br/>Jordan Mitchell - Pelican
Marina Bye - Siblings
Seayonce
Conor Jatter – RH Experience
Len Blanco<br/>Heat Two - Sat 15th Feb<br/>Group One<br/>Ania Magliano
Frankie Thompson
Susie Scott – Bang Average Theatre
Serena Flynn<br/>Group Two<br/>Anna O'Grady – Anna and Helen
Alex Lynch
James Alexander - Pojj
Will Sebag-Montefiore – Just These Please<br/>Group Three<br/>Will Dixon – The RH Experience
Emma Hinds - Toucan
Isa Bonachera
Mark Jones - Sisters
Stuart Laws<br/>Group Four<br/>Hughie Stanley - Pojj
Jacob Lovick - LoveHard
Sinead Parker – Norris and Parker
Joshua George Smith – Sleeping Trees
Lucy Miller – M

9:15pm
LEGS Julia Masli & The Duncan Brothers

Legs are what most humans stand on. They also allow humans to walk, crouch and lunge. If at any point in your life you have used your legs, thought about legs or if you know someone with legs, then this is the show for you. Legs. <br/>Winner of the Malcolm Hardee Award for Comic Originality 2019
SOLD OUT run at Soho Theatre<br/>"Brilliantly unpredictable. It is the bee's knees of sketch shows. This one will run and run."
“it reaches the purest forms of nonsense and silly... do yourself a favour and use your legs to go see Legs.” ****The Skinny
**** The List
**** Beyond The Joke <br/>Directed by award-winning theatre maker and comedian Dan Lees (Winner, Judges Award for Theatre, Mimetic Festival 2014 and 2 time Weekly Award Winner Adelaide Fringe) and one half of acclaimed double act The Establishment and co-founder of the London Clown Festival.

9:20pm
GORGON: A Horror Story Elf Lyons

An original horror story with jump scares and a bit of well placed gore. Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Medusa. You'll scream or be sick. That's the aim.<br/>A taxidermist loses her temper and decides to experiment with the human form...<br/>With live foley and horror tricks inspired by the gruesome Le Théâtre du Grand-Guignol - GORGON is a horror show to delight and scare in equal measure - focussing on that taboo subject... female anger.<br/>Created by award winning and renowned comedian and clown ELF LYONS (Edinburgh Comedy Award Best Show Nominee 2017)

9:45pm
Jamie Fraser: Having Fun Forever Jamie Fraser

Jamie Fraser, from adorable sketch group Princes of Main, presents a debut hour on lies, truth, and whether there's a functional difference between the two when it comes to comedy.

10:00pm
Johnny White Really-Really: Unending Torment Johnny White Really-Really

When I was a child, I tried out having an imaginary friend for one afternoon. We went to the park, myself and my imaginary friend, and played chasing games and went on the swings. But soon enough I tired of their company — they were really boring! And so I left them in the park and came home alone. As far as I know they're still there. If you see them, give them a wide berth. But enough about all that ! <br/>Come and see my most up-to-date show, “Unending Torment”!, live! <br/>Right here at the fabulous Vault Festival! <br/>'Watching this show is like having a very good dream - Liam Willams'"